Today we are getting real.

Okay last night on Twitter I said I was getting real on the blog today because I don't often get overly real on my blog! I normally like to keep things light and fluffy but today my kind friends were going deep! I have to say unless you're a member of my family or someone close to me you probably have not heard this story in full. I know I have mentioned it before because I have done lists of facts about me but telling the whole story doesn't come easy for me because I have to say it was the scariest time in my life. 

I was told I had cancer. I was told I would probably need chemo to shrink the tumor before I could have surgery to remove it. 

Now, lets back up to the beginning of this story. My sugars were messed up and that is a sign of PCOS (if you don't know what that is look it up because I don't feel like explaining it) and my sister has it so my doctor decided to have me checked for it. I first went for a vacation to Dominican because I was like I know I don't have it because that was the only sympton I had that could be linked to PCOS. When we came back from vacation, I went for my ultrasound to see if there were anything on my ovaries. The tech who did it was lovely but of course couldn't tell me anything. I went to see the doctor and I was then scheduled for a CT scan...Okay I have to admit I was little freaked out because I was thinking well they must have found something. I was told they just wanted to double check things. Having a CT scan is freaking weird! You hooked up to an IV thing so you glow inside and whatever it is in the IV is makes you feel like you wet yourself! Yup, not the most pleasant thing. When I went to my doctor to get the result of course my momma came with me but my doctor hadn't listened to the report yet so he quickly listened to it when we were there on phone so we couldn't hear anything. When he was finished, he again picked up the phone and called a specialist, it was end of the day so he was hoping the receptionist was still there. She was and my doctor proceeded to her I needed an appt with the doctor as soon as possible, she told him something and he said no, do you have anything tomorrow. Now, I'm freaking out because why do I need to have an appt with the gyno specialist so soon!? Since my doctor isn't a specialist he basically said hope for the best but prepare for the worst. So could be nothing or could be cancer. This all is happening right before we are getting ready to leave for Erica's graduation. I won't lie it was a restless night. Next day myself and my momma are sitting in another waiting room waiting to see the specialist, he told us there was mass/tumor attached to my ovary that was about the size of grapefruit, before it could be removed it would need to be shrunk a bit. This meant a round or two of chemo. He said things would be okay and explained everything we asked about. I was hoping he would do my surgery since he was family friend but I was being sent to Halifax. I was off for more blood work before going home so it could be spent to the specialist in Halifax. The woman who took my blood, who wasn't much older than me told me she was a cancer survivor and I would be fine. This woman made me feel so much better. On the way home, my mom and myself talked about everything and it was decided I would get one damn great wig if I needed chemo. When we got home, Erica was taking off for her weekend celebration with friends before her graduation on Monday. I have to say I felt awful all this happening when we all should have been celebrating her accomplishments at university. 

It was long weekend for us but we had a nice day on Monday at Erica's graduation and when we got home we had good news, the gyno specialist (family friend) called and said my blood work came back excellent. Any bit of good news right now was amazing! On Wednesday I was headed to Halifax to meet with surgeon/specialist who would be looking after me. She was my shining star! She didn't want to say for sure but she didn't think I had cancer! She didn't mention chemo and didn't mention anything bad! She said yes you have a mass in there but it just doesn't look like cancer to me. Even though it wasn't for sure it was like a weight had been lifted off me. She booked me for surgery in two weeks and we headed home feeling much better than we had coming up. The next Wednesday I had my pre-op and the next Wednesday I had my surgery. If you want to feel like you're 1000 years old when you're 25 have your stomach cut open! Walking is not your friend. To be honest other then laying on your back nothing is your friend. The nurses and doctors I had were honestly amazing! There was one nurse, she had a unique name so I can't even try to spell it but I don't think I would have been able to make it through a couple of nights without her, mainly because morphine made me an emotional wreck! My parents and aunt Mary were with me the day of my surgery, Dad went home at the end of the day and momma and Mary stayed with me. Dad was coming back on Friday because they said I would be released on Saturday or Sunday if everything went well. Everything was going really well but I wasn't on the right floor since we requested a private room so when my star doctor came in she said sorry but I was being moved. In the end they was probably for the best because the nurses on the floor I was moved too were better at taking care of me because they dealt with my kind of surgery more. They also gave me morphine every four hours instead of when I asked for it. They didn't want the pain to get ahead of me which was great but this turned me into a crying fool. I cried when Mary had to leave to go home even though mom was with me and dad was back on his way. But all in all everything was great and I got to go home on Saturday!

It was a good 4 weeks before I could most things, getting up and down stairs was awful for most of that time but they said it was good for me to move around. Doing even small things for the first 6 weeks tired me out so much having a shower required a nap after it. But everything was worth it when Dr Rittenburg called me to tell me there was no cancer! It was my ovary that had torn off and had blown up like a balloon! So, now I'm down an ovary and have a 10 inch scar from my belly button down. 

I don't know how some people deal with their illnesses with such courage but I'm in awe of them because I don't know what I would have done if that call had of been different. My world crashed when I thought I might have cancer but it was quickly pulled back up with the knowledge and support of my wonderful specialist in Halifax and all the people around me. My family was amazing through everything. Friends were great (especially Nathan who came to visit me in the hospital). The most thanks goes to my momma who was there every minute, the one who took care me when I couldn't do most things for myself, the one who took the brute of my frustations because I couldn't do anything for myself, love you mom! xo

Okay, I'm gonna end this now because it is the longest blog I have ever written! Remember to smile and don't take anything for granted! Love you all and have a cookie if you made it through this whole post!