I haven't blindly written a blog since I came back to blogging so I figured I may as well do it today since I haven't been overly keeping up with the blogging world these past two weeks to be honest. Wednesday was my last scheduled post so now I'm up in the air for posts. Yes, I do have ideas but some of them I have to do more stuff for, like some DIY stuff! Saying, that there should be a DIY up on Monday because it is fall thing and if I don't get that up soon it will never go up because I will be into Christmas projects! And lets be honest I am into my Christmas projects! A little secret I have started my Christmas shopping and even have some stuff wrapped! Yes, I know I'm crazy! I have been told a number of times by my sister.
One of the reasons I have been absent but not entirely from the blogging world lately is because I haven't had the want to write anything. Yes, I can whip together a fall favorites, a happy thanksgiving post but I have not wanted to sit down and actually write. I think it is because of the passing of my instructor Kathy. Back in May, she was diagnosed with cancer and we lost her near the end September. Even though I know she is gone, I still have feeling of it not being real. We never text that often but now because I can't all I want to do is text her and just say hi. She touched many lives and helped shaped mine. She had the strongest faith one could have and knew when she passed it was because God had another plan for her. All she wanted was for you to do your best, she might have pushed and annoyed you at time but she was always doing it for your own good. I know some days I would leave class thinking what a woman and be annoyed but once I thought it about I knew she was just pushing because she knew I could do even if I didn't know it at the time. I'm so happy I have such good memories with her, the last time I spent real time with her was at the Carnival of Beauty (hair show) and I got to spend most of the time with her. Admittedly, yes tried to ditch her once but she is a hard lady to get away from even in a crowded convention centre filled with hairstylists. Now, I'm happy I didn't because I have those nice memories before she found out she was sick.
Every once and awhile now I get a huge wave of grief and just want to cry. I know Kathy would tell me not to cry and everything is a part of a great plan but I don't understand it and I almost don't even want to understand it. When I have a hair question or need advice I don't have her anymore to go to and I don't like it. I hate how cancer rips people from your life. I know she is not in pain anymore and everything but I still want her back.
Cancer doesn't care how old or young you are, it doesn't care if you're white, black, purple or blue, it doesn't care if you're thin or fat, it doesn't care if you're poor or rich, it doesn't care if parents have to watch their child sick, or child watch their parent sick.....it just doesn't care. Remember to say I love you for no reason, call to say hi, send that smiley face emoji, hug just a little tighter because things can change in an instance.