Okay, lets get real here....

So recently, I have noticed a number of my fellow bloggers have been speaking about babies mainly because a number of them are preggers or just had a baby. There is also a number of them who are not sure if they want babies. This got me thinking and I decided why not blog about it! 

Where do I stand this? Do I want kids? Will I care that society is going to judge me if I don't? What if I do/don't want kids but my boyfriend/husband does? What if I can't have kids? As one ages these are things that start going through your mind when you're trying to sleep or when your birthday is coming and you don't feel like you're where you should or wanted to be. When I was a teen and in my early 20s, I didn't want kids at all! I liked other people's kids and I was good with that. When I was like well I would maybe adopt a kid. Then I had a cancer scare where they told me they might have to remove all my lady plumbing and at the time I was like do whatever you have to do, I just want to come out of this cancer free. Luckily, they didn't have to and even better it ended up not being cancer. The specialist told me things looked normal minus an ovary now. She also told me I could start menopause early, which means my window for having kids got smaller. She said because I only have one ovary I could have pre-menopause symptoms starting in my early 30s. Wait! What? Whoa lady I'm only 25 lets not pile this on me was what I was thinking at the time. Thirty felt long enough away at the time that I wasn't really thinking about but now I'm 30 and I have to say nowhere near where I thought I would be at 30. Now, don't get me wrong I'm very happy right now and I like where my life is going but it doesn't change the fact this is not where I thought I was going me. I figured by the time I was 30 I would be married probably not with kids but who knows. I'm nowhere near married (unless you count my 20 year relationship with Leonardo DiCaprio mind you he doesn't know about it) and who knows if kids are even in the cards for me!

The world tell us you grow up, you get married, you have kids and live happily ever after. Well, what if I can't? I want to, I want to have the whole pregnancy experience no matter how bad or good it is, I want to feel the kicks, I want that and I don't know if I will get to have that. The ovary that got taken away from me could have been my 'good' one with more eggs or the one left just might be a bitch! The world is saying You're 30 and childless what is wrong with you? Well, world I have one ovary and I don't know if it works so screw off!

I also wonder if it would be a deal breaker with my future husband (if I ever find one). Would he be open to adoption? Would he be okay with no kids? Would I be okay with no kids? Would he want babies that came from him and me? Would it be him and not me that gives us problems? Would I be understanding? Who knows?

Right now being that age looking around seeing others married and pregnant makes me want it but I know in my heart I'm not ready for any of it, but I won't lie I see it and sometimes I feel a pang of jealousy it doesn't last for more than a moment but it is there. I feel joy for those pregnant and got that way easily. I feel sadness for those who every month pray for a different result to their pregnancy test. I just often wonder which one I will be? And what if I'm never either?

It is the what if that scares me...

Side Note: I didn't even realize I was posting this the day after Mother's Day! I guess this is another time you think about these things too much.

This Weekend I....My Weekend Shenanigans!

It is Monday again! The days are flying by of course because it is summer and the weather has been pretty awesome! Yes, it is has been a little on the too hot side but I would rather be talking about the heat in the summer then it not being hot enough! Can't win anyways because when it is cold we complain and when it is hot we complain! haha

Anyways, I'm starting this post with Thursday because I went and had lunch with my lovely cousin Amy and her little guy Cameron! I hadn't seen in them in far too long so it was nice to sit and catch up with her. Cameron was pretty good too and didn't make too much of a fuss until momma was done her lunch and really that is all you can ask for in an almost 8 month old! Also, I was puppy sitting for Belle on Thursday! What a stinkin little cutie she is! Makes me miss having a puppy! Well kinda it is too much like having a baby for the first little bit haha!

On Friday, I also went to lunch with my friends Danielle and Laura. Laura is living out west right and just home visiting so had to get a lunch in and Danielle's birthday had just past so it was a celebration lunch! We went to Hebel's for lunch and it was lovely as always! I had tomato and basil soup with feta and holy it was amazing!! After lunch we went to see one of my favorite little munchkins Quinn! Then we headed to the mall because Laura needed to pick up a couple of shirts. It was a lovely day with some of my favorite girls. For dinner Erica and myself just picked up some chinese food since we were both tired and didn't feel like cooking anything.

Saturday was a pool day because it was super hot but luckily there was a breeze! So, I spent my day in the pool! We also took the dogs for ice cream! haha There is a doggie delight option and I have to say our dogs loved it! They even top it off with a milk bone! Sorry I forgot to get a picture of that! And you could hardly see what was going on because the boys were just head down and eating away! I did remember to get one of Jagger when we had to fix his hair because it was failing in his eyes when he wouldn't stay out the pool! And I'm just gonna throw Sunday in here too because it was another pool day for me! Had a nice dinner with the family and headed down to Mary's because I'm puppy sitting until Tuesday! 

Hope you all had a great weekend! Happy Monday and remember to smile :) Makes you prettier! xo

Friday Link Up Madness!!

It is that time again for some Friday Dance Party!! You must be linking up with Whitney! Anyways here is my choice this week for #backthatazzup Friday!

Because everyone needs a little Britney in their lives!

-------------------

Friday also means it is mean for some Happies and Crappies!

Happies:

-it is time for Crop and Create! Off to Moncton around lunchtime today!

-had great time visiting with Amy and Cameron this week!

-had a great play date and lunch with Nicole and Clara!

-it is officially Spring! Closer to summer!!

-Got my eyebrows did! Small things are sometimes the best things!

-LES MIS IS OUT TODAY!!!!!

Crappies:

-it is Spring but still snowing! 

-Snowstorm #2 of Spring has happened and we are only a few days in!

I hope everyone has a great weekend! I know I will!

See You All on Monday!

xoxo

Happy Monday!?

Yes I know happy and Monday just don't go together! Anyways, I don't really have anything for you today because I didn't get any Pinterest projects done yet! I will have lots soon because I'm starting my Christmas baking on Wednesday so I'm sure something will come from that! Fear not I will have lots for you!

Now, I don't think I mentioned this yet but my family is two cousins bigger now! My cousin Amy had a beautiful little boy Cameron! And my cousin Nicole had an adorable little girl Clara! I'm so excited because I get to have baby/infant snuggles again! I met Cameron last week and he was just perfect loved his auntie Britt! This Thursday I'm going to meet Clara! I have seen some pictures of her and she is so beautiful I can't wait to go and see her! Anyways here is me and my new boyfriend Cameron! Love him!

Hope everyone is having a great Monday! 

xo

06.04.2012

Monday Monday...Sorry there was no Sunday Funday this week but I was very busy and my internet decided it didn't want to work last night so what can ya do! On with the show today :)

So I’m at the age where my friends are getting married and having babies! It is kind of a scary age because you feel as if you should be at a certain place in your life when these things are starting to happen but whatever I’m not here to talk about real adulthood! I’m here to talk about my new obsession with baby clothes!

Yes baby clothes! I have always thought they were adorable because really how could you not!? But now since I have friends with babies I can buy the stuff and let me tell you it is addicting! Now, instead of just browsing around for clothes and things for me I find myself heading to the baby section or worse the children’s stores! I have to remind myself that a baby can only wear so many outfits before they will be into a new size and that most adorable little outfit is longer needed! I have been much better lately because I have been saving for my move, can’t drop 20-40 bucks each time I find some cute babies clothes anymore, well I could but I won’t be able to do anything once I move!

I hear I’m not the only once who has experienced this which makes me happy but I’m worried if I’m like this with my friends kids what am I going to be like with my own!? Not to worry about that now since there is NO plans for that anytime soon!

PS I will talk about my move soon! Big plans ahead!